Not to turn you on to my competition, but I’ve got to give some props to Mari Ruti and her book The Case for Falling In Love. I haven’t read it yet, but she seems to be covering some of the same themes that I am in The Hopeful Romantic. Here’s the first couple of the anti-rules.
1. Stop trying so hard.
Give up your efforts to force love into a self-help cast. It will never fit, no matter how much you struggle. The only thing you’ll achieve are blisters in your brain. And love is not a Rubik’s Cube either. You can’t solve its riddles by clicking the red, blue, green, yellow, etc., pieces neatly into place. You’ll only get blisters on your fingers. So give yourself the heavenly permission to let love do the heavy lifting all by itself. Not only will this feel great, but it will save you a fortune in therapist and manicure fees.
2. Stop being so cautious.
Love is one of those human experiences where caution is overrated. If you want to be safe, go shopping at Zara with your best friend. The worst that can happen to you there is that you won’t be able to resist the adorable little black dress on sale. But when it comes to love, don’t expect caution to get you anywhere. Applying caution to love is like driving uphill with your emergency brake on. You might be able to keep going for a while, but eventually, you’ll need to find a mechanic.
You can read all twelve at Jezebel.