When online dating and social media collide

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“I found that dating was the best personal development tool — the feedback is strong — people are either interested or they are not. It’s a clear indication of how you’re showing up. You can’t ignore it – you stop dating or you grow,” he said. “The game is the ritual of courting, and in a game, if you don’t have rules, you can’t have fun,” he added.

The game of courtship has changed for singles who are increasingly plugged into several social networking sites, but are the rules different? With hundreds of millions of users using Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and now Google+ each month, how do singles navigate dating and meeting potential dates on social networks?

Both locally and around the country, people who have dated someone they met on Twitter or Facebook say the social networks are good ways to get a more complete picture of the object of their affections, for better or worse.

Photo via Flickr user Dominik Brygier Photography

5 Things Single Women Hate To Hear

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1) What’s Said: MAYBE YOU’RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH.

What’s Heard: “This can come off sounding like you’re passing judgment on effort,” says Anderson. “It’s better to encourage a single person to explore new relationships to the extent they are comfortable and to extend themselves in ways that feel natural and not forced.”

2) What’s Said: WEAR MORE MAKEUP.

What’s Heard: More than implying that the search for Mr. Right is as easy as brushing a spot of color onto the cheeks, this comment offends further by actually attacking a person’s core identity. “A woman presents herself according to what she defines as meaningful. Whether her style is glamorous belle or au naturelle, every woman should be allowed to be herself. There’s a man out there who is going to be attracted to her style, whatever it is. If she’s presenting herself as anyone other than who she really is, that’s false advertising and that’s going to backfire.”

Click through for the full list. Some common sense things, but worth a read in case you don’t know.

Photo from Flickr user littleprincessdiaries

Wednesday Night Is Right for Loving

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Rudder started by finding out, based on OkCupid’s mobile service, which customers in New York, Boston and Washington were out on the town on a given night. From these people’s profile data, Rudder then built a composite of four sets of personal characteristics that might correlate with openness toward new (but not necessarily long-lasting) relationships.

Two measures he studied were explicitly concerned with sex: what percentage of singles out on a given evening listed casual sex as a “romantic priority” and what percentage was willing to sleep with someone on a first date. The other two measures were less sex-centric: what percentage described themselves as extroverted and what percentage fancied themselves as adventurous.

When he put all the numbers together, he got a curious result. Weekdays, not weekends, are better for singles on the prowl — and the mix of people out on Wednesday nights are the friskiest.

We at the Hopeful Romantic do not promote casual sex or sex on the first date as it usually makes a serious relationship with that person more difficult.

But the Hopeful Romantic does stay well informed, so we pass along this tidbit without further comment.

A New Kissing Device Lets You Make Out Over The Internet

Researchers at the Kajimoto Laboratory at the University of Electro-Communications in Japan (of course) are working on a machine that can replicate a kiss from the Internet. Just approach the box, move the straw with your tongue, and your partner gets a straw moving in their mouth the same way. True bliss. Here’s a video:

via fastcompany.com

This is timely. I’ve been working on Chapter 4 – First Date First Kiss.