Category Archives: Love in General

Meaningful Quote – Khalil Gibran

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Khalil Gibran - Autorretrato con musa, c. 1911

Khalil Gibran (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The following is an excerpt from Khalil Gibran’s The Broken Wings.

Real beauty lies in the spiritual accord that is called love which can exist between a man and a woman.

Did my spirit and Selma’s reach out to each other that day when we met, and did that yearning make me see her as the most beautiful woman under the sun? Or was I intoxicated with the wine of youth which made me fancy that which never existed?

Did my youth blind my natural eyes and make me imagine the brightness of her eyes, the sweetness of her mouth, and the grace of her figure? Or was it that her brightness, sweetness, and grace opened my eyes and showed me the happiness and sorrow of love?

It is hard to answer these questions, but I say truly that in that hour I felt an emotion that I had never felt before, a new affection resting calmly in my heart, like the spirit hovering over the waters at the creation of the world, and from that affection was born my happiness and my sorrow. Thus ended the hour of my first meeting with Selma, and thus the will of Heaven freed me from the bondage of youth and solitude and let me walk in the procession of love.

The quote I wanted to share is in bold, but I thought I’d extend it into a little excerpt to give it a little more context. This quote (and book) touches on an important theme when searching for love at a younger age, something that I mention in The Hopeful Romantic‘s Introduction, and then again in Chapter 6 – Growing in Love. And that is – we have to be careful about falling in love too quickly, as it can be completely one-sided.

Yes, the first time we fall in love can be great and wondrous. But it is far better to fall in love with someone. The Hopeful Romantic is patient with their quest, and falls in love precisely when they mean to.

Meaningful Quote – Beyond Perls

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Journal_of_humanistic_psychology-1972-tubbs-5

Beyond Perls

 

If I just do my thing and you do yours,
We stand in danger of losing each other
And ourselves.

 

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations;
But I am in this world to confirm you
As a unique human being,
And to be confirmed by you.

 

We are fully ourselves only in relation to each other;
The I detached from a Thou
Disintegrates.

 

I do not find you by chance;
I find you by an active life 
Of reaching out.

 

Rather than passively letting things happen to me,
I can act intentionally to make them happen.

 

I must begin with myself, true;
But I must not end with myself:
The truth begins with two.

(Walter Tubbs, 1972)

And so, the Hopeful Romantic follows this premise – not passively letting life (and opportunities for love) slip bye, but instead intentionally creating new opportunities to live life to the fullest, allowing more possibilities of love to enter their life.

[image from here, used under fair use]

Book Review – To Fall In Love Is Foolish

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Written in 2004, To Fall In Love Is Foolish was my first self-published book on love and relationships. It encapsulated my thoughts, experiences, and opinions at the time. It was rather personal in nature, so I retired it long ago, but I review it now to give some background on my current project.

In the first chapter, which the book draws its name, To Fall In Love Is Foolish, I described my understanding of falling in love – a completely one-sided affair that is done before the person falling in love knows anything substantial about the other person. I used to do this all of the time in grade school and high school – before even asking the girl out. Once I did ask the girl out, it wouldn’t work out for one reason or another – and I would be heartbroken.

The second chapter, To Be In Love Is Cute, deals with what can happen when two people fall in love before they hardly know anything about each other. The premise being, that if two people fall in love with each other, then they can just as easily fall out of love with each other. (This would be fairly common in high school relationships.)

The third and final chapter, To Grow In Love Is Gorgeous, was then my “solution” to this problem of falling in and out of love. Instead of falling in love right at the beginning of a relationship as many of us are prone to do, a better course of action is to slowly grow in love.

When I tried to apply this from the start of my next serious relationship, I discovered something – yes, growing in love is the right way to start a relationship, but once you know you’ve found somebody great (based on time together), you can’t be afraid to fall in love with them.

Learning that lesson, I’ve incorporated that concept into Chapter 6 of The Hopeful Romantic – Grow In Love, Then Fall In Love – something I was successfully able to do in my relationship with Melissa.

Meaningful Quote – Fritz Perls

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I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations…
and you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you…
and I am I.
And if, by chance, we find each other…
it’s beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped.

~Fritz Perls

This is the first quote on love I ever collected. It was in the 7th or 8th grade. The moral of this quote, and one that I was able to follow throughout high school and into college, is to not change just because your sweetheart wants you to. You’ve still got to be yourself.

Later on I realized that some change is good. In an ideal relationship, the two continue to challenge each other to become better people throughout their time together. This quote, though, speaks of unnecessary expectations and being able to stay true to our core beliefs.

[image from Wikipedia]