If I just do my thing and you do yours,
We stand in danger of losing each other
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations;
But I am in this world to confirm you
As a unique human being,
And to be confirmed by you.
We are fully ourselves only in relation to each other;
The I detached from a Thou
I do not find you by chance;
I find you by an active life
Of reaching out.
Rather than passively letting things happen to me,
I can act intentionally to make them happen.
I must begin with myself, true;
But I must not end with myself:
The truth begins with two.
(Walter Tubbs, 1972)
And so, the Hopeful Romantic follows this premise – not passively letting life (and opportunities for love) slip bye, but instead intentionally creating new opportunities to live life to the fullest, allowing more possibilities of love to enter their life.
[image from here, used under fair use]
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations…
and you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you…
and I am I.
And if, by chance, we find each other…
If not, it can’t be helped.
This is the first quote on love I ever collected. It was in the 7th or 8th grade. The moral of this quote, and one that I was able to follow throughout high school and into college, is to not change just because your sweetheart wants you to. You’ve still got to be yourself.
Later on I realized that some change is good. In an ideal relationship, the two continue to challenge each other to become better people throughout their time together. This quote, though, speaks of unnecessary expectations and being able to stay true to our core beliefs.
[image from Wikipedia]
“I found that dating was the best personal development tool — the feedback is strong — people are either interested or they are not. It’s a clear indication of how you’re showing up. You can’t ignore it – you stop dating or you grow,” he said. “The game is the ritual of courting, and in a game, if you don’t have rules, you can’t have fun,” he added.
The game of courtship has changed for singles who are increasingly plugged into several social networking sites, but are the rules different? With hundreds of millions of users using Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and now Google+ each month, how do singles navigate dating and meeting potential dates on social networks?
Both locally and around the country, people who have dated someone they met on Twitter or Facebook say the social networks are good ways to get a more complete picture of the object of their affections, for better or worse.
Rudder started by finding out, based on OkCupid’s mobile service, which customers in New York, Boston and Washington were out on the town on a given night. From these people’s profile data, Rudder then built a composite of four sets of personal characteristics that might correlate with openness toward new (but not necessarily long-lasting) relationships.
Two measures he studied were explicitly concerned with sex: what percentage of singles out on a given evening listed casual sex as a “romantic priority” and what percentage was willing to sleep with someone on a first date. The other two measures were less sex-centric: what percentage described themselves as extroverted and what percentage fancied themselves as adventurous.
When he put all the numbers together, he got a curious result. Weekdays, not weekends, are better for singles on the prowl — and the mix of people out on Wednesday nights are the friskiest.
We at the Hopeful Romantic do not promote casual sex or sex on the first date as it usually makes a serious relationship with that person more difficult.
But the Hopeful Romantic does stay well informed, so we pass along this tidbit without further comment.
AnOther presents Tom Ford’s five easy lessons in how to be a modern gentleman, taken from Jefferson Hack’s intimate conversation which appears in full in the issue.
1. You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.
2. A gentleman today has to work. People who do not work are so boring and are usually bored. You have to be passionate, you have to be engaged and you have to be contributing to the world.
3. Manners are very important and actually knowing when things are appropriate. I always open doors for women, I carry their coat, I make sure that they’re walking on the inside of the street. Stand up when people arrive at and leave the dinner table.
4. Don’t be pretentious or racist or sexist or judge people by their background.
5. A man should never wear shorts in the city. Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate. Shorts should only be worn on the tennis court or on the beach.
I’m not sure what Badoo is, but I’m guess some sort of social networking site.
And here’s Fast Company’s thoughts on the flirting ranks:
More likely, the survey isn’t especially scientific. First of all, there’s Badoo’s definition of what counts as “flirting.” It’s any contact initiated through its site with a stranger–the average Miami resident on the site does that 18.5 times a month. But what if those all come from a few dozen extremely sad people who send out unreturned chats hundreds of times a day?