Meaningful Quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupery

4062674587_e4f3958d23_z

“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.”

– Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I don’t even think this quote is from The Little  Prince, but it ties in nicely with yesterday’s post about avoiding the heartbreakers and pickup artists. Only when we approach dating with an open mind, without expectations of immediately finding love (or sex), will we have the best chance of success.

Photo via Flickr user moirabot

Avoid the Heartbreakers & Pick Up Artists

2322700585_2206e5a8be_z

Finding someone to date would be difficult enough, if not for the heartbreakers and pick up artists out there. They make the dating field seem like it is filled with landmines.

Wait. What are heartbreakers and pick up artists?

Well, pick up artists are the scum of the earth. To them, everything is about the score. Together, they brainstorm and implement psychological hacks to essentially trick unsuspecting “targets” into sleeping with them.

Heartbreakers are just that, people that lead you on or let you fall in love with them that have little or no intention of returning the emotional connection. Again, most heartbreakers might just be looking for sex. And the troubling part, which makes them far more dangerous to us Hopeful Romantics out there, is that they might be willing to fake an entire relationship.

Heartbreakers also like to use the line “oh, I’m not really looking for a relationship right now”, or some other similar bullshit line. But don’t get tricked by this. Whenever there’s physical intimacy with the same person over a period of time, an emotional connection occurs and someone’s heart is sure to get broken.

Here’s a very brief list of things you can do:

  • Don’t ever sleep with someone on the first date.
  • If you ever hear a casual line about not wanting or having time for a relationship, politely explain that you don’t want to waste your time then, and be on your way.

Stay safe out there, Hopefuls!

Photo via Flickr user whappen

Music: The Hopeful Romantic Mixtape

22465_336191786284_4164208_n

A few years ago for Valentine’s Day, I compiled a Hopeful Romantic Mixtape – songs from my favorite artists that correspond with each chapter. Well, with the advent of this new website and the streaming availability of Spotify, I thought it was worthwhile to repost. Here’s a link to the Spotify playlist, as well as a chapter and track listing:

Chapter 1 – Being Happy
Heartless Bastards – Be So Happy

Chapter 2 – Knowing What You Want
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin – Oregon Girl

Chapter 3 – First Contact
Eli “Paperboy” Reed & The True Loves – Am I Wasting My Time

Chapter 4 – First Date, First Kiss
Flight of the Concords – A Kiss Is Not A Contract

Chapter 5 – Differences
Wilco – Pick Up The Change

Chapter 6 – Growing In Love, Then Falling In Love
Ben Kweller – Falling

Chapter 7 – Dead End Relationships
Feist – Inside And Out

Chapter 8 – The Art of the Breakup
Loretta Lynn – Mrs. Leroy Brown

Chapter 9 – Recovery
Limbeck – Honk + Wave

Chapter 10 – Is This Person the One?
Patrick Wolf – The Magic Position

Chapter 11 – Appreciation + Compromise
Golden Shoulders – Patience Darling, Patience

Chapter 12 – Being Happy Together
Jens Lekman – Someone to Share My Life With

That last song was Melissa and I’s first dance at our wedding!

I’ll try to update this playlist every Valentine’s Day. So look for a new one next February!

Photo via Flickr user le vent le cri

Wednesday Night Is Right for Loving

Capture2

Rudder started by finding out, based on OkCupid’s mobile service, which customers in New York, Boston and Washington were out on the town on a given night. From these people’s profile data, Rudder then built a composite of four sets of personal characteristics that might correlate with openness toward new (but not necessarily long-lasting) relationships.

Two measures he studied were explicitly concerned with sex: what percentage of singles out on a given evening listed casual sex as a “romantic priority” and what percentage was willing to sleep with someone on a first date. The other two measures were less sex-centric: what percentage described themselves as extroverted and what percentage fancied themselves as adventurous.

When he put all the numbers together, he got a curious result. Weekdays, not weekends, are better for singles on the prowl — and the mix of people out on Wednesday nights are the friskiest.

We at the Hopeful Romantic do not promote casual sex or sex on the first date as it usually makes a serious relationship with that person more difficult.

But the Hopeful Romantic does stay well informed, so we pass along this tidbit without further comment.

A New Kissing Device Lets You Make Out Over The Internet

Researchers at the Kajimoto Laboratory at the University of Electro-Communications in Japan (of course) are working on a machine that can replicate a kiss from the Internet. Just approach the box, move the straw with your tongue, and your partner gets a straw moving in their mouth the same way. True bliss. Here’s a video:

via fastcompany.com

This is timely. I’ve been working on Chapter 4 – First Date First Kiss.

5 Easy Lessons In How To Be A Modern Gentleman

AnOther presents Tom Ford’s five easy lessons in how to be a modern gentleman, taken from Jefferson Hack’s intimate conversation which appears in full in the issue.

1. You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.

2. A gentleman today has to work. People who do not work are so boring and are usually bored. You have to be passionate, you have to be engaged and you have to be contributing to the world.

3. Manners are very important and actually knowing when things are appropriate. I always open doors for women, I carry their coat, I make sure that they’re walking on the inside of the street. Stand up when people arrive at and leave the dinner table.

4. Don’t be pretentious or racist or sexist or judge people by their background. 

5. A man should never wear shorts in the city. Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate. Shorts should only be worn on the tennis court or on the beach.